A Promise I Intend to Keep
by DigiExpert
Summary: Unable to sleep, Byleth wanders the halls restlessly. Along the way, she finds someone else is also up, and struggling to cope with the realities of all the war has brought. F!Byleth x Edelgard.


Byleth had promised herself an early bedtime for once. She was drained and exhausted from a day of strategic planning for the Black Eagle Strike Force's next move, on top of an evening of training with Dorothea and Petra. All she wanted to do was shower and fall into the comfort of her bed. Now, hours later, she still lay awake, unable to achieve the sweet bliss of a dreamless sleep. Too many memories clouded her thoughts, of death and destruction, of killing former students and friends. In her mind she kept replaying their deaths over and over. All she could see was how she had failed her students as a professor and leader. Unable to stop her unwanted thoughts, she grumbled and sat up, rubbing her face. _Might as well try to walk and tire myself out._ She stood, straightening her t-shirt and shorts before taking the time to put on a pair of slippers. She moved into the dark dormitory hallway and closed the door softly behind her, holding it so the latch wouldn't loudly click into place. The last thing she wanted was unnecessary noise to alert someone to her presence. She was not in the mood for questions.

And so she walked the halls restlessly, unable to sleep. She'd paced up and down the first floor of the dormitory. Still not tired, she climbed the stairs to the second floor to continue her nighttime walk. Her ears perked up at an odd sound. It was not part of the usual nightly sounds of the building and its occupants rustling and settling. Everyone had gone to bed long ago, as far as she could tell. There hadn't even been a sound from Manuela's room as she'd passed, which usually meant there hadn't been a gentleman caller that night... or she had simply started drinking early. She paused, listening again for the sound. ...There! It was… crying. Soft and subtle, but still there. She looked around, getting her bearings in the dim light and murmuring the names of each room's occupant to herself. The sound was coming from Edelgard's room.

Byleth moved closer and placed an ear against the door. Yes. It was soft, as though Edelgard didn't want anyone else to hear a moment of weakness. As the emperor, she had a role to play and an expectation for how she should act and present herself. Crying was a weakness and had no role here. Byleth raised a hand and rapped lightly against the door, pausing to listen. No answer came. She rapped again, but still there was no answer. _Should I just go in? Would that be too rude for this time of night? _

Concerned, she reached for the knob and turned carefully, pushing slowly so as not to spook Edelgard. She closed it just as carefully behind her. She glanced around the room, letting her eyes adjust to the difference in lighting. Moonlight fell across the room from a window high above. There was a desk, covered in papers, and even more scattered on the floor. The chair was askew, turned away from the desk. Against the wall was a double bed, typically made up with high end bedding, the same that had been assigned to all high-ranking nobles. Byleth tiptoed closer to the bed, spying the head of white hair peeking out from a bundle of crimson covers, body curled up and facing the wall. She could see Edelgard's shoulders tremble and shake beneath the covers. It broke her heart. This was quite a different scene than the Emperor that she dealt with on a daily basis. This weakness was new, but not entirely unexpected.

"Edelgard… El…. El… what's wrong?" she whispered, knowing how foolish the question was as soon as the words left her mouth. She had an inkling of the answer… after all, she'd been awake because of haunting memories. She couldn't even imagine how she would feel if she were the one leading the war, carrying the burden of a nation on her shoulders. _Not the brightest idea, Byleth. Like everything is all sunshine and daisies right now. _

No answer. She settled gently onto the bed, trying not to cause too much of a disturbance. Byleth hesitantly reached out, lightly resting a hand on Edelgard's exposed shoulder. To her surprise, Edelgard rolled over and threw her arms around her, holding tightly to her sides. Her sobs intensified as she let loose a wave of grief into Byleth's shirt. It reminded Byleth of someone clinging to a tree branch after nearly drowning in a rushing river. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around Edelgard, pulling her close. "I'm here...I've got you…" she whispered.

Edelgard only sobbed harder into her shirt. Byleth wanted to ask many questions, but now was not the time for words, comfort or otherwise. Edelgard had shouldered the burden of so much pain and strife, and had bottled it inside until she could take no more. A person can only take so much before they break. Byleth ran her fingers up and down Edelgard's back, hoping to soothe her. She wasn't sure she was doing this comforting thing correctly. She'd never really comforted someone like this before, but she wanted to do well, for Edelgard's sake.

_Perhaps… a song…_ Byleth began to hum a song that she'd heard Dorothea singing the other day. She couldn't recall the words, but she remembered that a sense of calm and peace washed over her as Dorothea put her heart into the piece, singing of a future they all wished and dreamed of. Byleth closed her eyes, imagining that future as her hand rubbed circles on Edelgard's back. _I want to see that day… with you. _She blushed at the thought, but knew deep in her heart that it was true. She would fight this war by Edelgard's side, and protect her with her life. And some day, they would see that future, together.

The night wore on. Byleth lost track of time, and her humming had dwindled, leaving behind a comfortable silence. Her head began to droop, but she forced herself to stay awake. She soon noticed that the moonlight had all but disappeared, a sign that morning would be coming soon. Edelgard's sobs had begun to slow and quiet. Byleth was almost certain she'd fallen asleep against her shirt, and smiled, loosening the younger woman's grip. She guided Edelgard's head gently to her pillow. She tucked the covers and then rose, intent on returning to her own room to claim a couple more hours of sleep before it was time to rise and face the reality of the new day.

As she turned to the door, she was surprised when a hand suddenly grabbed her shirt. She looked down at Edelgard, whose face was red and puffy from crying. Strands of hair had fallen across her face, and the younger woman sniffled. "Please stay. I… need you." Her voice was laced with need and Byleth couldn't refuse the vulnerability. No, it was more than that. She had felt the same need for some time now, but there never had been an appropriate time to act on it. Not that Byleth had any clue as to how to act on it. It had never been part of her mercenary upbringing.

Smiling softly, Byleth felt her heart skip a beat as she looked down at the disheveled Edelgard. "Okay," was all she could muster as she removed her slippers and crawled under the covers. Edelgard rolled over to face the wall once more, and Byleth found herself fitting her body against Edelgard's, her face against Edelgard's back. She smiled to herself and tucked Edelgard's hair to the side, pulling the loose strands away from her face. Byleth was uncertain what to do with her left arm, however. _What does one do in this position? _she wondered to herself. As though reading her mind, Edelgard reached around and tugged Byleth's arm around her waist. She then took Byleth's hand and pulled it to her chest, letting their fingers lightly twine together. Byleth was surprised by the action, but she was even more surprised when she felt Edelgard's lips press against her fingers, the gentle kiss setting butterflies free in her stomach.

All Byleth could feel was the shape of Edelgard's body against her own, and she reveled in the way that made her feel. She didn't want to have to rise in a few scant hours. She didn't want to leave this room, or this bed. She wanted this moment to freeze in time so that she could enjoy being with Edelgard that much longer. _If only Sothis could make that a reality. _It was unfair that this would end all too soon. Her mind raced.

"Byleth?"

The whisper of her name pulled her back to reality, and she moved a bit, trying to get more comfortable. She shifted against Edelgard. "Yes, El?"

"Please don't go. I need you."

Byleth was confused. She had already made it clear she was staying for the night, just as Edelgard had asked. "I'm right here. I'm not going to leave you alone tonight."

"I don't mean that. I mean... I need you, by my side. I want a future with you and only you."

Byleth felt herself blushing furiously. She wondered if Edelgard knew the effect her words had. Had the Emperor professed her love for her? _Slow down, Byleth. She never said anything of the sort. She just likes you, that's all. Likes you enough to want a future with you. Still...oh say something, damnit!_ "I'd...like that." _Great that last part came out wrong. She's going to think I said it just to please her._

She felt Edelgard tense up and start to pull away. She'd been right- her thoughts had come out wrong. The last thing she wanted was to mess this up. "I'm sorry-" began Edelgard.

"No, wait. That came out wrong. I want the same, El. I want a future with you, too. Please don't… pull away." She used her arm to pull Edelgard back against her. She felt Edelgard relax as she did so. Byleth moved a leg to twine it with hers.

"Is that a promise?" Edelgard's voice was hopeful, almost childlike.

Byleth kissed Edelgard's shoulder before closing her eyes and letting her body relax into the bed. She felt her mind going fuzzy, the racing thoughts no more. Sleep was finally attainable. "A promise I intend to keep," she whispered, squeezing Edelgard's fingers gently in her own.


End file.
